Plain Dane - Part 2
Bill Newman
Maddie had expected the Greek meal to be her first and last date with Robert. But over the next four weeks
Robert took Maddie on a dozen more: the opera, ballet, concerts, West End shows, and expensive
restaurants. “When are you going to bring him back here for dinner?” her mother said. She’d issued the
open invitation after Maddie said she wouldn’t be home for supper, one evening.
She hadn’t really told her mother much about Robert. How does one ask one’s mother for advice on how to
proceed with a relationship? It’s different these days, she argued. Instead, she sought counsel in the shape
of her co-worker, Janet.
In the two years Maddie had been at the FCO, Janet had become her best friend. She worked in an
adjacent cubicle and had a similar academic background. However, Janet differed from Maddie in that she
had no shortage of lovers, in spite of her bespectacled bookish appearance. “How do you do it?” Maddie
once asked her. “All men have a weakness,” she had replied, but would not elucidate.
The pair had decided to go for a drink and something to eat on Friday evening. Robert had gone out of
town and wouldn’t be back until late, and Janet confessed she wanted the night off from her current
boyfriend. “Don’t make them think they can phone you up for a date when they’re at a loose end. Or if they
just want sex.”
They left work at six, wandered up Whitehall to Trafalgar Square and found a pub on the Strand. The place
was half-full. On Fridays, London’s office workers wanted to get home, it seemed, and the Friday night
theatre crowd hadn’t arrived yet.
At the bar, they both ordered a pint of lager, and Maddie decided on steak and kidney pie, while Janet
preferred the Friday special of fish and chips. They took their drinks and a numbered token, and found a
table.
“So,” Janet said, “how’s progress with Robert?”
“He’s being very sweet to me,” Maddie replied.
“Being sweet usually means he’s conservative and a gentleman.”
“Yes, that pretty well sums him up. And he’s very generous. Takes me everywhere, and I’ve yet to pay a
penny. Going Dutch is a concept he’s not comfortable with.”
“Nothing wrong with that. But you said you hadn’t inspected the bed sheets at his place, yet.”
“I haven’t even been invited back for coffee.”
Janet picked up her glass but then put it down again. “That’s a bit strange. Perhaps he lives in a one-room
hovel in a crappy part of town.”
“I doubt it. He’s got a good job.”
“Has he ever suggested bonking you at your parents’ house?”
Maddie smiled. “Oh, is that why my mom and dad have been going out in the evenings more frequently?”
“Okay, I take it that’s a no.”
Maddie downed almost half of her lager. She waited for a few moments as if expecting the alcohol to take
effect then, after taking a deep breath, said, “I told him, well, you know....”
Maddie’s virginity had come up in their conversation before. “What did he say?” Janet asked.
“Nothing much. What do men think about girls who are virgins?”
Janet laughed but then stopped abruptly. She’d spotted the server approaching with their food. She held up
the token and waved it at him. There was a lull in the conversation while they began eating. After a couple of
mouthfuls, Janet said, “Hmm, what do men think? Good question. God knows.”
“I mean, is being a virgin a turn-on or a turn-off for them?” Maddie asked.
“Neither, they’ll screw any girl once. But I suppose the extra incentive of being the first does give them a little
added excitement. Although I’m not the right person to ask because I sort of engineered my own cherry
popping.”
“Oh, how?”
“Silly kid’s stuff, really.”
“How old were you?”
I was in the last year of high school. My friend Wendy was dating a guy six years older. He had a pal called
Kevin about the same age who was girlfriend-less at the time. Wendy knew I hadn’t been to bed with a guy,
mainly because the boys we hung out with were such idiots, but she also knew I wanted to. Anyway, to cut a
long story short Kevin and I got it together.”
“And what happened after that?”
“He dumped me,” Janet said.
Maddie blew out her cheeks, exhaled then went back to her steak and kidney pie. She ate a couple of
forkfuls then said, “But my situation is different. Although I’d also like to be popped, as you so graphically put
it, Robert seems reluctant.”
Janet picked up her glass, downing the remains of the lager. “Remember I once told you all men have a
weakness?”
”Yes, but you didn’t explain what you meant.”
Janet held up her glass. “Get me another lager, and I’ll tell you.”
Maddie laughed. “This better be worth it.” She wandered over to the bar, returning with two more pints. She
put them down on the table. “Before you start, let me tell you Robert doesn’t appear to have any obvious
faults.”
“Yes, he does. He hasn’t asked you to go to bed with him, so something’s up. Or rather it isn’t up.”
“Very funny.”
“Does he kiss you in a sexual way?”
“Yes, he does. His mouth is sooo kissable. You wouldn’t believe how perfect a cupid’s bow he has. And he
always tastes like he’s just eaten a whole packet of mint chocolates.
“When you’re kissing him, can you feel his dick?” Janet asked.
“It’s difficult to miss feeling Robert’s.”
“Yes, men love rubbing it against a girl’s tummy. That’s assuming he’s taller than you.”
“He is.”
“Perhaps he likes kinky sex and he’s waiting for the right segue before mentioning it. For example, has he
asked you if you have any tight leather pants?”
Maddie looked at the ceiling, as though she was trying to remember such a conversation. After few
moments, she lowered her head and took a sip of lager. “Not that I recall.”
“Is he gay?”
“Blimey, clutching at straws aren’t you. And no, he’s not!”
“How do you know?”
“I don’t, but next time I see him I’ll ask him if he wants to meet Brian at work.”
Janet laughed. Brian was the office clown and openly gay. “I give up.”
Maddie reached out and patted her hand. “Thanks, Janet, I appreciate your help. I’ll look for some signs on
future dates.” Her comment sounded sarcastic.
“Don’t worry. He’ll do it when the time is right, and if he doesn’t, you wouldn’t want him anyway.”
* * * *
Maddie’s cell rang as she was undressing for bed. She normally disrobed by removing items of clothing and
letting them fall to the floor, where she’d leave them until morning. She picked up the phone and continued
to undress, now with only one hand.
“Oh, hi Robert.”
“I’ve just arrived home,” he said, sounding out of breath.
“Did you run all the way from the station?” she asked, squirming out of her panties and trampling them into
the rug.
“I’m always breathless when I call you. Hadn’t you noticed?”
I’d rather you be breathless after fucking me, Maddie thought. I’m naked here. She couldn’t summon up the
courage to tell him. “No, I can’t say I have noticed.”
“You said you were going out with Janet tonight. Did you have fun?”
Maddie pulled back the duvet and slipped into bed, propping a pillow against the headboard. “We chatted
about you.”
“Oh, good or bad?”
“Good, of course. She’s very jealous of me.” While this wasn’t strictly true, Maddie had no doubt that Janet
would find him attractive.
“Now you’re teasing me. Anyway, tomorrow night, what are you doing?”
“Er, let me consult my appointments book,” she said, making no move to exit from the comfort of her bed.
“Nope, I’ve got nothing on.”
“Good,” he said, missing the innuendo. “I’m going to cook you supper. Can you make it here by Tube? I’ll
take you home, but I’m going to be busy in the kitchen.”
“Sure. What’s the address?”
He gave it to her then started to give her directions.
“I’ll Google a map,” she said.
The following evening, Maddie took the train to the Angel Underground station. After winding her way
through the back streets, she looked at the address she’d scribbled on a piece of paper. Ah, there’s his
condo. It was less than a hundred yards away from the Greek restaurant where they’d eaten on their first
date.
“Come in, Maddie. Everything’s on, so I’ll give you a quick tour.” He took her coat and hung it in the closet.
They stood facing each other. “Lead on,” she said, wondering why he was staring at her. Did she have a
spot on her nose?
Without saying anything, he grabbed her, pinning her arms to her side, and gave her an open-mouth kiss.
She held the kiss, not wanting to break off. Eventually, he let her go.
“That was nice,” he said.
“Me, too.”
The design of Robert’s condo struck Maddie as rather odd. From the entrance lobby they had to pass
through the dinning room to reach the stairs and the kitchen. “Smells delicious,” she said. “What are we
having?”
“I have a confession to make. My cooking’s not worth a bean, so I got that Greek restaurant to cater for me.
Remember Anton? He left a few minutes before you arrived.”
Can’t cook, she thought. I’ll mention that to Janet. It’ll put paid to her gay theory.
He showed her the rest of the house. The living room and one of the three bedrooms were on the second
floor. The other two, including the master, were on the third floor.
Robert pulled back the drapes in the master bedroom. “You can see St. Paul’s Cathedral from here,” he
said.
Maddie squinted into the setting sun. “So you can. And Smithfield meat market, too.” She smiled at him to
show she was teasing.
He smiled, too. She loved his smile. It was the kind of smile that people can’t fake, and one which made a girl
feel special. Her dad was the only other male she knew who could do it. “Let’s go and eat,” he said.
On the way down they poked their heads into the two guest bedrooms. Like the master, they, too, had en-
suite bathrooms. With what looked like recent interior and exterior renovations, and the location, Maddie
estimated Robert’s condo to be worth over a million pounds.
Robert served up almost the same dishes they’d had in the Greek restaurant, a month earlier. They started
with bowls of taramosalata and fava, and naturally, some pita bread. He then produced a bottle of
Chardonnay that definitely wasn’t Greek. “I’ve been saving it,” he said. Maddie looked at the label. Fifty
pounds, she estimated, probably cost more than the meal. “Are Souvlaki and rice okay for the main
course?” he asked.
“Yes, that’s great,” she replied, but failed to put the necessary enthusiasm into her voice.
Robert seemed to have read her mind. “I’m not very good at this. It’s on account of being left-brained.”
“It’s fine, Robert. If you didn’t know already, let me tell you that a girl always warms to a guy who wines and
dines her.” She had to stop herself adding, “…no matter how basic.”
“I’m sure you’re just saying that,” he said “but I’ll accept it as a compliment.”
She reached across the table and stroked his cheek. “Yes, please do, and by the way, this is a fabulous
place you have here. I’m still living with my parents and trying to save up for the deposit on a mortgage.”
She wondered if he’d spot the implied question. Where did his money come from?
“Living with them is the best way to raise the cash,” he said. “Keeps your expenses low.”
He missed it, she thought, and decided to give him a prod. “How much do you think I would need to qualify
for a mortgage on a half decent apartment?”
“Lots. I’m not much help because I paid cash for this.”
WHAT! Okay, now you can ask him. “You inherited the money?”
“No. Do you recall those patents I mentioned?”
“Yes, but doesn’t the company you work for own them?” Oh, no. Do I sound ultra nosey, she wondered.
Robert poured more wine into her glass. She took a mouthful, more than was ladylike, and cocked her head,
as if waiting for his answer.
“Yes, but I own the company. The royalties are mine, after expenses and tax of course.”
She nodded her head slowly. And when Robert appeared to have returned his attention to the meal, she
took stock. The mystery of why he seemed to like her deepened, because on top of everything else, he had
pots of money. Ergo, he could get any girl he wanted.
Her mind returned to Janet’s comment about some guys getting a buzz making love to a virgin. But if that
were true, why didn’t he bring her here and do the deed four weeks ago? Janet had once mentioned that
guys expect the average girl to hold out for one-point-five dates before having sex, although Maddie
assumed this was more likely to be Janet’s average.
They finished the meal and carried their wine glasses upstairs to the living room. Robert brought the
remains of the wine with him. They flopped down on a leather sofa.
Robert raised up the bottle. “Want to finish this off?”
She held out her glass. “Whoa, that’s enough. I think I’ve had three quarters of the bottle.” But I feel great
and ready for whatever else you want to serve up.
Robert put the bottle on the coffee table. “A toast,” he said, holding up his glass. “To the beautiful woman I
would like to marry.”
Maddie had no idea what he was talking about. Is this a brush-off last supper? She held her glass in her lap
and looked at him. “Who is this woman?”
Robert laughed. “Raise your glass and I’ll tell you.”
She did so, and they clinked glasses.
“Madeline is her name.”
Maddie put her glass on the table, took his, and placed it beside hers. She jumped up and plonked herself
down on his lap, sitting astride him on her knees. She could feel him rising up to meet her. “Are you sure?
We haven’t even slept together. What if I’m hopeless?”
“What if I’m hopeless?” he replied.
“You probably know you’re not. After all, you’ve had intimate partners.”
“But you don’t know what they thought of me in the sack.”
“There’s one way I can find out,” she said. “But us having sex is only part of it. What is it that makes you
want to marry me?”
“You’re a nice person, Maddie. Do you think after four weeks I can’t tell how wonderful you are?”
She dropped her head onto his shoulder and started to cry then fumbled blindly for her purse, opened it,
and extracted a tissue.
“Oh, and there’s one other thing I like about you,” he said.
She sniffed then blew her nose. “What’s that?”
“You don’t wear make-up, so when you cry you don’t have black mascara streaks running down your face.”
His comment made her cry even more.
* * * *
Maddie was not destined to walk down the aisle a virgin. That status had ended the night Robert proposed
to her.
The following Monday, she waited until Janet arrived and went over to her cubicle. She whispered in her ear.
“I lost my cherry.”
“Oh, wow, brilliant. If you don’t mind my asking, what was it like?”
Still whispering, two inches from Janet’s ear, she said, “So that’s what the G-spot is all about. I hope their
equivalent is just as good.”
Janet laughed. “They think it is. You took my advice and exploited his weakness then?”
Maddie pulled away from her close proximity to Janet’s ear and spoke in a normal voice. “Not really, but I
think I know what it was.”
“Oh?”
“He has a phobia for women who wanted him for his money.”